i hate that i can't grasp the concept that people have lives and jobs and bills to pay.
i hate that they know i hate that.
i just want everything to be easy. i don't want all this bullshit. i want to b content with staying home alone and not being worried that no one loves me. i hate that i crave a hug every second of the day and that i have the urge to say 'i love you' to someone, anyone every minute of the god damn day and get more sad if they don't say it back right away. i hate that there are people dying every goddamn day and that there is nothing i can do about it. i hate that i can't help but b a bitch to him and every else around me because i don't mean to but it just comes out that way. i hate that i can't even get my permit because my neurologist won't sign for it. i hate that my sister calls things retarded because she thinks it's funny. she's in her mid 30's. it's not funny. i can't stand life anymore right now but i can't stand not living my life even more. i still want to cry. why the fuck did i even bother writing this. i hate everything right now but i love him and everything about him and now i'm tearing up.